You are reading “Dating: What Is It And Should We Be Doing It?”, part of The Undistracted Christian Guide To Dating, Marriage And Family, a Blog Series.

Christians have a tendency to get really hyped up about distinguishing the difference between two or more words that mean basically the same thing.

Here’s a few examples:

Are you a “Christian”, a “Believer” or a “Follower of Christ”?

Are you “religious”, “spiritual” or do you have “a personal relationship with Jesus Christ”?

Are you “dating”, “courting” or “finding that special help mate that God has prepared just for you”?

So let’s just call it what it is: dating.

Now we can talk about what it is and if it’s for us.

What Is Dating?

There are a lot of different levels and styles of dating, but for those of us who don’t live in a culture where our parents plan ahead and find a spouse for us, we find methods to do it ourselves.

The main way of doing that is by dating, which can be as simple as going out for coffee or as complicated as meeting each other’s parents and planning a wedding.

As far as we’re concerned here, dating will be spending time with someone with whom you are actively seeing if they are a suitable person to marry one day.

Some will take this more seriously than others, but that is the basic intent of dating, being “in a relationship” and getting engaged. We want to get married and this is how we generally go about it in our culture.

Should Christians Date?

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2: 24

Here’s the thing: God set up a deal where a man and a woman get married and they stay together for life.

Here’s the tricky part about it: He didn’t really tell us how to go about it.

He gave us the general description of the kind of person He wants us to marry (Proverbs 31) and how to treat them (Eph 5), but He didn’t tell us the general order of how to go about finding that person.

You can point out the dangers and temptations that can be problematic in dating, but the Bible gives us in depth details on how to live, so if we stick with the doctrines of the Bible and apply them to dating we should be fine.

In the end, it’s up to you on how you go about finding a spouse. If your parents hook you up and you’re cool with that, then fine! If you want to ask someone out and then spend a year or ten getting to know them, go for it!

Our goal in life and all the activities involved in it are to glorify God. If you are glorifying God in how you find a spouse, then you are on the right path.

Call it whatever you want.

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